Thursday, February 17, 2011

Let's Talk About Zombies

Since I'm in the process of writing my own zombie-themed screenplay, I figured this was a perfect opportunity to bring up that what we fear most: to wake up one morning and find flesh-eating zombies clawing at your door.

You were about to say there's something else in the world you fear most? 
Yeah, I didn't think so.

What makes a good zombie movie? It's all a matter of opinion. I'm not going to give you a top ten list telling you the best and the worst ones out there. This is more of a zombie appreciation post. I love me a good zombie flick. Whether it's for laughs or to try to scare you with how "realistic" it could be, they are always entertaining.

This guy will make you laugh. Har har har.

In my opinion, a good zombie movie has something for everyone. The all around tough theme of zombie apocalypse, some lighthearted humor, the perfect balance of blood and guts, a wicked soundtrack and maybe a little romance.

Show me some zombie love!

When it comes to zombie movies, though, my main concern is all about creativity. With a million different zombie movies out there, you've seen it all. All the reasons why zombies would suddenly take over the planet have been done and redone to death (ha). But if I'm investing my (sort of) valuable time, I want to see something interesting. Explain this new disease to me. Why is life on earth coming to an end? How did it all start? Come up with something good! Something we haven't heard before. Or if we have, polish it up and show it to us from a new point of view.

Or, if you're going to go the rout of not giving the audience any sort of reasoning why someone is trying to eat my face off, put that creativity to use elsewhere. Put those zombies and their victims in an unusual location. Give me some interesting character development. Don't just give the actors an unlimited access to guns and ammo. Let's see them figure something else out!

That could work.

I'd love to see some more development with the undead. Not many people pay attention to it, but the next time you're watching one of these Oscar worthy films, take some note to how fast it takes these folks to turn into zombies. Is it instantly? Are they dead for a few minutes to give their loved ones some time to grieve? 

Shoulda seen that coming.

More details that I love about zombie movies is the actual zombie. How do they look? Good? Nah. They look like shit. But filmmakers, come on, give us a good close up look at 'em. There are some amazing makeup artists out there and I want to see what they can do! I want to see what your idea of a zombie is going to look like.

That's a face only a mother could love.

And are you going for a humorous zombie film or to try to scare the pee out of me? I'd like to know ahead of time so I could prepare myself with the right underwear.

I can't think of anything scarier than this face. Just looking at it now I feel tears welling up and want to cry out for my momma.

And how are you going to achieve that perfect mix of all the great things that make up a good zombie movie? I personally think there are too many horror films out there today that try too hard for the gross-out effect than anything else. I lose a little respect for a film if all I see are insides on the outside and faces being blown to pieces every five minutes. I mean, there's a time and a place, but we need a break from the nasty stuff every once in a while in order to really appreciate it.

Ooh that stings!
And can we stop trying to remake the classics? Unless it's Romero saying he wants to be involved in the remake of one of his own movies, don't touch his stuff. That goes for all the rest. Come up with your own ideas and see those through before you even think about rewriting the script of an oldie but a goodie. I see this with too many movies of all genres already. It's one thing to get ideas from other movies, but don't you dare try to fix something that ain't broken!

To conclude, I will leave you with this: My zombie film will be completed and will blow your minds. I'm not sure when, but it will. I only hope that it's on the big screen sometime before zombies really do take over.

Happy zombie hunting!

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