I don't work . . .
The woman went back to typing, then surprised me by saying . . .
Are you a homemaker?
. . . No, I rent.
I didn't understand what she was asking me. Then, when the light bulb clicked on, I laughed to myself. Me a homemaker? That'll be the day.
I guess it's the day.
Oh of course, I spend a good portion of my days job hunting. In this economy, you want to make sure you're making as much income as you possibly can. But it's not an ideal market for jobs these days. No matter how qualified I might be, it's a fight to get an employer to even respond to your resume.
And with Mitch's job the way it is, we're not in dire need of me finding a job right away. Who knows where we're going to be sent to next. And we're living comfortably, so there isn't so much pressure to the point where I'd even take a job at McDonalds. So in general, we're OK.
Which leaves many to wonder how I spend my days.
I spend a good portion of my day blogging and reading what people have to say on the internet. The news and friend's lives are of interest in the morning. Usually paired with a cup of coffee, but at this point with the elimination diet, I'm restricted to water or herbal tea.
We're testing right now to see if I might have some reaction to cabbage. Or limes. Knees aren't happy. Let's hope it's just from working out and not the limes. I can't handle not being able to drink a margarita this summer!)
And then what? Shopping for dinner and preparing it (remember my friend Produce Guy?), working out, cleaning the house, doing laundry, reading, baking, playing with kitties, whatever errands need to be done. It's all on the agenda.
Did I ever think I would be living life like this? Hell no. This is where the people I went to high school and college with - who might have stumbled upon my blog at some point - second guess themselves.
This can't really be the Lyda I know!
Is it the feminist in me that never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and housewife? I always joked about being Mitch's trophy wife. A good friend of mine and I have a joke that our spouses are the money makers in the relationship and we're the moochers. We'll lunch together while our sugar daddy/mamma works. But this was all lighthearted, humorous talk.
And now? Well, today I got excited when I got the ingredients needed to make homemade chapstick in the mail, and then proceeded to put together my own room spray with water and essential oils I had laying around.
. . . And it made my day!
I've been spending the last few days deep cleaning the apartment and making it home-y. Organizing the kitchen with my own jars and label maker, scrubbing the bathtub with organic cleaner, growing herbs on my deck, etc.
Actually proud of a color-coordinated closet. Yuck.
What happened to me?! Who have I become?
Someone very different than I thought I would be.
But you know what? I love it.
I love it all. I love that I have this time that I can spend collecting recipes, talents, habits. It's like I'm a little squirrel stocking up for winter. I'm stocking up life lessons for the future. Soaking up everything I can about how to run a home and take care of a family.
I hear you laughing.
Someday someone will appreciate this!
I have no regrets. So far anyway. We're still saving up money to travel to Europe soon. I'm still writing my screenplay, even though I've been on a temporary break due to just being busy lately. And don't you dare think for a minute that I've given up on acting and teaching. All of my dreams are still there. Everything I hope I'll accomplish someday are the same.
I love a happy home!
But things also change. Priorities are adjusted. Life takes turns that you don't expect.
You can plan it all out as much as you want but at some point your map isn't going to match up with the road in front of you.
There are always disappointments. Jealousy. Frustration. Times where you second guess yourself. I'm not perfect and there have been moments in my life where I seriously question what I'm doing. Why I'm doing it. I think those moments are important - it means it's time to check in with yourself.
One of those moments happened yesterday when I was organizing Mitch's clothes in our closet. Did I really find enjoyment folding his socks and putting them in a neat little basket? Maybe this whole cleaning thing is only due to the fact that my in-laws are coming to visit this weekend. Who knows what's going on in my subconscious!
For now I'll enjoy it.
. . . and make a roasted chicken for dinner tonight.