I could go on and on complaining about swollen knees and how they bite, but really, what would I be contributing to the world? Everyone knows swollen knees suck. No one out there is saying "I'm so happy I have a swollen knee, this is the best thing that's happened to me all month!"
. . . That is . . . until now.
I decided to come up with a list of positives. Great things that come along with swollen knees. This idea came to me, like all good ideas do, while I was in the odd state between prednisone induced over-activity and a sleeping aid coma. I also came up with a brilliant idea to live blog a full day of wearing high heels with swollen knees, but this idea had less falling on my ass so I went with it instead.
So, the pros of swollen knees. Well, let's cut right to the number one benefit . . .
* Excused Laziness!
This is my favorite, for I am a big fan of relaxing and being lazy. With a swollen knee, I finally have a good excuse to sit on the couch and catch up on episodes of Bored To Death and The Office all day long. If anyone asks, just point to the knee. Darn I wish I could go bike riding but my knee is swollen. RATS! Probably one of the only moments of your life when you aren't sick and you get to just hang out all day and enjoy a book or a movie without anyone giving you crap for it. Enjoy it.
Disclaimer: you might have to follow through with activities post-swelling with some people. So keep track of what you avoid doing - it might come back to haunt you someday.
* Extra Love
If you have a spouse and children that don't do a thing around the house, now is your time to guilt them into doing their chores. Swollen joints are a great tool in motivating others to get stuff done. Kids I would love to make you a feast of a dinner but I can't. I'd like pot roast. Here's a cookbook, get to work. I don't have children yet, but you better believe I'll be pulling this move on them eventually. And if you have a spouse that watches football all day and doesn't pick up his dirty socks? Well now you have a great reason to get him into shape. I have to say, my amazing husband has been doing dishes the last couple of days and it's been ah-mazing. Love that man.
Disclaimer: Your family might hate you if you abuse this tactic.
* No More Cuts!
Shaving your legs has never been easier. Well, that's a lie, it can be hell to try shaving your legs with swollen joints. But now you don't have to worry about those damned knobby knees anymore! No! Your razor glides over the newly rounded kneecap without a single razor wound in need of tissue paper to stop the bleeding. You no longer have to worry about those boney kneecaps getting in your razor's way. Feel those smooth knees!
Disclaimer: Remember to be careful once again when the swelling goes down.
* Finally! A use for that bag of frozen vegetables!
Swollen knees need ice. Or at least something cold from the freezer. Good thing your kids didn't want to eat those peas for dinner the other night! And all that elevating has got to be good for your legs, right?
Disclaimer: If you live in a warm climate like me, you have to keep an eye on that bag of frozen food.
* A Check-In
If nothing else, having your joints fight against you is a good moment to check in with yourself and how you're doing. It gets you to think about what might have caused it - have you been eating badly, stressed, over exerting yourself? It's also a good reminder that yes, you have arthritis, and this is a part of your life. It's time to reassess your treatment and then move on and enjoy your life!